What Was I Thinking???

What in the world caused me to think having another baby was a good idea when I have one that keeps me as busy as three kids would? I'm totally panicking today. We had a doctor's appointment with the specialist at the children's hospital that we've been working with for the last 5 months. While we have made some improvements during this time, we are essentially in exactly the same spot as we were in May. Ally is still limited strictly to baby food- anything with more texture causes her to gag and vomit. She still won't hold her own bottle and I have to spend approx. 30 minutes per session hunched over her in a bouncy seat while distracting her with toys and iPhone apps in order to get her to take a 6oz bottle. I do this 5 times every day in order to get the necessary amount of calories into her. If you do the math, this means I spend over 2.5 hours every day just working on bottles. Add in an extra 45 minutes of high chair time to feed her the purees three times each day and a large portion of my waking hours are spent devoted to feeding this child.

Our daily schedule is planned around her feeding times and we are quite limited in the length of time we can be away from the house since she does much better at home in her own surroundings. We have managed to get her enrolled in our church pre school one morning a week, a weekly swimming lesson, and a Little Gym class every Friday in hopes that spending more time around children that are eating age appropriate foods and drinking from cups will have a positive influence on her.

I think our appointment today was sort of a wake up call. I have no idea how we're going to do this once our little boy arrives in late December or early January! I really want to be able to nurse him since that experience didn't go so well with Ally (she quit nursing at 2 months and I pumped for the next 7.5 months) but it's just hard for me to imagine what type of schedule we'll have when I'm trying to nurse a baby every 2 hours and feed Ally every three hours! We'll never get out of the house! I'll happily accept any and all offers of help, but most of it is going to be my responsibility because no one else can nurse the baby, and Ally eats best for me since I'm the one at home working with her every day.

To add insult to injury- her specialist recommended that she be fitted for some custom orthotics that she will wear in her shoes. Even though she walks and runs just fine they think she pronates her feet which causes her to hyper extend her knees. Just once I wish we could walk out of that office without identifying some new issue that requires therapy!

The only good news of the day came in the form of her measurements. Ally weighed in at 25 pounds and 7oz (approx. 65th percentile) and was 32.5 inches tall (75th percentile). She's gained almost 5.5 pounds since I quit my job in April so I know my perseverance is paying off, but I'm seriously questioning my ability to take care of two children. I know I have more than enough love to give but I don't know if I will have enough time. I can only hope and pray that our son will be a good eater and an easy going kiddo!

Although my Ally is difficult, I wouldn't trade her for the world!